01. When God Dies…

What does it feel like when God dies?


For some of you, it’s an unfathomable question.  God is so alive, so real, so moving within your life that the concept of God dying seems no more possible than the far-fetched dream of a child.

For some of you, it’s a ridiculous question.  How could something that doesn’t exist ever die? And even if it does, how can that death of childlike fantasy be a bad thing?

But for some of us, it’s a feeling we’ve known all too well.  And a feeling we’ve felt, deep within the pit of our being.

It’s crushing…
It’s terrifying…
It feels as if the ground itself has opened up; swallowing us into an infinite pit of confusion, loneliness, and despair.

But what if I tell you this doesn’t have to be the end?  What if I tell you that it might not be God that has died, but instead your false, idolatrous image of God?  That instead of the loss of God, you’ve simply lost your broken system, built from years of doctrine heaped on top of doctrine, and certainty made into law.  What if I told you that there was a bottom to this pit, and that it didn’t have to lead to death, or loneliness, or confusion, or despair? What if, instead, it could lead to a renewal of life?  A brand-new, brighter, more beautiful image of God, and a bold new direction for tomorrow; that life you’ve long been promised, but rarely experienced.  What if I told you that before you could find this life, you must first experience this death?  And out of this death, you would find resurrection?

And how could I possibly know?

I know because I’ve lived it.

I’ve felt God die.
I’ve felt my certainty disappear in a sudden, terrifying moment of clarity.
I’ve hit the bottom of that pit with enough velocity to rip the breath out of my lungs and force the blood from my heart.

But I survived.

And then I found God.
Waiting for me at the bottom.
In the deepest, darkest moments of despair.
Offering life.

And because of that, I offer hope. I offer light. I offer guidance back to the surface, where a deeper, more beautiful, dynamic, and uncontrollable faith awaits you.

That is why I am writing this series.  To offer a new way to think about those old traditions that seemed so dead before.  This death of God feels like an end, but it’s only the beginning; and I hope that my story, my thoughts, and my journey can help you find your way back to the God of the universe, this God of life, and this beautiful experience waiting for you at the surface.

So join with me.  Let’s unbox our old ideas of God together, laying them out before us so that we can examine them in the context of death, but in the hope of finding life.  We won’t always agree, and I may sometimes be wrong.  But I hope that we can undertake this journey together, to seek new understanding, and to find the meaning of Life waiting for us at what feels like the very end.

Welcome to Unboxing God.  I’m Kevin Carter, and the following articles are the result of my story, of my death, and of my resurrection.  May you find the truth of God within.

God bless you.

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